EXCLUSIVE: New Year Resolutions from the WorldTour

As 2013 coasts slowly to a stop, Carbon Addiction has been granted unprecedented off-season access to several key figures from the WorldTour to discover their hopes, dreams and fears for 2014*. 

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Brian Cookson. “I hope world cycling thrives as well as my beard, just with less grey patches. Be splendid to get Knighted like Sir Bradley of course, but perhaps 2014 might be a bit too soon for that. I’ve met Her Majesty several times, you know…she rides a fixie.”

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Peter Sagan. “To perform ‘no hands mono’ as I cross line first on Champs Elysees, then bunny hop onto the podium to kiss the pretty gerlz.”

Mark Cavendish. “#$@* off, why should I tell you anything?!”

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Joaquim Rodriguez. “For Senor Valverde to fall off a mountainside at the Tour, so I can finally win the rainbow stripes without him &@$ing everything up, he may be Spanish but he’s more annoying than a piece of festering chorizo. I would also enjoy very much if Spain beat Australia 12-nil at the World Cup. You may have good cyclists but your footballers are shit. France scored six goals against them. SIX?!”

Jens Voigt. “Get more Twitter followers than Mylee Cyrus and win at least three stages of le Tour in solo breakaways. Ja.”

Caleb Ewan. “To win. Everything.”

Alberto Contador.“If Bjarne asks me to ride in Mexico or China, that’s it – I’m going vegan.”

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Chris Froome. “For Richie to supress his Tasmanian ambitions just a little bit longer, say the next seven years or so? Oh, and to be given a stem so tall that I can stare at it all day long without taking my eyes off the road.”

* Yes, this is all bogus.

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