Mr Claus

Dear Santa,

As you will already know (because you see all) I’ve been a good cyclist this year. But with one month until Christmas Eve – unless of course the Mayans were right, in which case please disregard this correspondance – I thought I’d drop you a note all the same to highlight a few things I feel deserve mentioning….

This year I’ve tried very hard to be courteous to my fellow riders at all times. Always rolling out of the paceline to clear my nostrils. Making loud calls of “lights!” “hole!” and “slowing!” Offering my foot pump to other racers at SOP, Landsdowne Park and the Dragway, even if it would easier to win if they only had 80 psi. I’ve resisted the temptation to run red lights, most of the time anyway. I’ve shouted coffee to my ride partners when they’ve forgotten their wallets. Stopped to watch others repair their flats, nodding sagely at all times. And never ever laughed at those wearing outfits even more ridiculous than my own.

I’ve never completed a Strava segment in a motorised vehicle (without fessing up afterwards, that is). I’ve always done my turn at the front, except maybe when I was racing and felt I had a chance to win something. Not that I ever did. Whenever I’ve sold gear on ebay, I’ve been honest about it, and only once did I get more than I paid for an item myself (I figure if someone is stupid enough to pay $78 for a $30 jersey from China they could easily buy themself, that’s their fault, not mine). I’ve also kept my empty “espresso love” and “chocolate outrage” Gu sachets in my back pockets, leading to some seriously disgusting mess at the end of long rides and unthinkable problems for my washing machine.

Yes Santa, I’ve been a very good cyclist this year. So please do the right thing on December 25, okay?

Anything made from Carbon would be gratefully appreciated…feel free to leave it in the garage if you can’t fit down the extractor fan vent (sorry, I don’t have a chimney).

Warmest regards,


2 thoughts on “Mr Claus

  1. Peter I have a good solution for the empty Gu packets. I roll them from the bottom to extract all the gel and then put the empty packet under my knick on my thigh. Small resultant pack that sits easily under the Knicks. Food for though.

    1. Thanks Brian. I’ll give it a try. That’s another reason to shave your legs too I guess – to prevent sticky masses of matted thigh hair……

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