Why I’ll never recommend cycling

As regular readers of this blog will know, I love cycling. So you may be surprised to read I’d never recommend it to a friend. Or even a stranger, for that matter.

After thinking and long and hard about my own carbon addiction recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that local gym membership is a much better option for most Australians. Or taking up jogging. Or maybe getting a personal trainer. Ocean swimming looks like a smart choice too. Or even getting a Nintendo Wii. Anything but cycling, really. That’s my advice.

Wii Fit, now that’s an awesome sport. So much better than cycling.

My reasons are simple.

The explosion of popularity in cycling is getting totally out of hand. If many more people start doing it, well, who knows where it will end? The days of peaceful morning rides on virgin streets will be a distant memory. Every ride will be like the Spring Cycle, an obstacle course of 8-year olds, tandems and newbies on poorly-serviced hybrids.

And mark my words. Be it compulsory registration, parking permits, or some other ridiculous money-making scheme, Governments and Councils everywhere will be implementing all kinds of new ways to generate even more revenue from us. An already-expensive pastime will become even worse.

(As a relative newcomer to the sport myself, I sometimes wonder how all the ‘original’ cyclists out there feel about this? Part of them must be very proud and vindicated. But another part must be pissed off at suddenly having to share the roads with a never-ending stream of cashed-up idiots clad in Assos or Rapha outfits that barely contain their girth.)

So, as you enjoy your next ride, be warned there is a dark lining on the silver cloud that is road cycling, my fellow riders. We need to unite, and do everything we can to promote everything else to anyone who asks us. Lest the roads be lost forever.

Cycling? Nah mate, it’s rubbish … but I hear skateboarding is awesome.

A friend wants to feel wheels on the road? Tell them to take up skateboarding.

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